


Thunderstorm

by outlawofideal



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, Love/Hate, M/M, Masturbating, Minor Violence, Past Injury, Sexual Content, Swimming AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-26
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-04-06 07:56:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4214064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outlawofideal/pseuds/outlawofideal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>The water feels cooler than ever, cutting his skin sharp and fast. The power runs through his veins, his muscles tighten when his feet touch the pool wall. He pushes himself forward. His strokes feel stronger, steadier; water splitting wider with every single stroke.<i></i></i>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> <br/> </p><p>Or the one Luke loses his hope of his swimming career, Calum is a impeccable medley racer, Ashton and Michael are really close friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was something born from my passion for swimming. I'm thankful for Maxine's existence, thank you for your help and being supportive. This is for you [Maxx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thnksfrthmxn)

The water feels cooler than ever, cutting his skin sharp and fast. The power runs through his veins, his muscles tighten when his feet touch the pool wall. He pushes himself forward. His strokes feel stronger, steadier; water splitting wider with every single stroke.

He swims the rest of his lap in less than half a minute. It’s an adrenalin rush, pushing his body to its limits. He pushes his head out of the water to breathe, taking off his goggles.  A boy is leaning on the starting platform of his lane, so close to the edge; his toes at the same level with Luke's eyes.

Luke looks up, glaring at the boy's familiar face. He has a cocky grin, sculpted cheekbones, and darker olive skin. What was his name?

“Great timing you got there, mate. What was that? Something like a minute or so?” he says enthusiastically, right after suggesting a hand to Luke. Luke's still trying to remember the guy’s name, something with a K, maybe?

He takes it and the boy pulls him out. He checks his timer watch on his wrist and a smile slowly spreads on his face. “59 seconds point 4 split-seconds, but yeah we can say that.” It is incredibly close to his best, making him tingly with the buzz of success.

“That's so close man," the boy starts while following Luke to the side. "I'm Calum by the way. I don’t think we’veofficially met before," he adds, smiling broadly.

He points to the side with his chin, obviously aware of the fact that he is keeping Luke from his training. Luke dries himself with his large, awkwardly patterned towel. He remembers the boy now. The boy swims with the gym’s team. Sometimes their training times match and they catch each other’s glares when they float around for some air. They are more like acquaintances than friends, rarely making small talk in the locker room. 

                Luke remembers the boy’s famous laugh clearly; it is something anyone can recognize him for. Luke is used to hearing it a lot in the locker rooms. The raven-haired boy is bubbly and funny in his memories and he never complains about hard trainings, even when his friends come back to the locker room with weak muscles to the point of having hard time walking. Luke wonders what the boy wants from him.

 "Yeah, uh, 'M Luke," he mumbles.

                Calum nods and puts a hand on Luke's bare shoulder. "Well, Luke, they asked me to talk you into a few laps with my team. So..."

                It feels weird to just being asked. This has never been casually like this before. It's always been a competition, racing his ass off, waiting for the lists to hang up on the boards. He has earned every spot he got in the school teams in his sports history. Now he's a team-less mess after his graduation, with no college to attend next year and somehow this few laps look like a plan for the future. 

 "When?" It slips out of his lips not so long after and it feels easy for once. It makes him think of the life choices he had made. Why haven't he thought about the swimming team of one of the greatest gyms in his city before? He has been coming here for around two years and it didn't cross his mind once. He feels so stupid.

 "Tomorrow night. At 7," Calum answers, patting his shoulder again. And his whines during the month of June come back, crashing him like a train. It can all be for nothing. He still can achieve every little trophy he has ever wanted; it can be like before if he has a team again. "See you there, Luke."

+++

 He sleeps through his morning run the next day. His dreams are tempting and sweet; his room is chilly for a summer morning so he manages to sleep half of the day.

 He roams in his brother's apartment once he's fully awake, grabbing a bowl of cereal before lying on the sofa. He's glad to be alone. If he stayed with his parents, he could go mad from seeing all of his friends buzzing with energy, talking about nothing but the next party and colleges. He doesn't have a college to attend to next year. He stupidly didn't apply to any of them. It was all part of a dumb dream of swimming professionally, declining all the college teams.

He closes his eyes and groans, his thoughts tire him out most of the time and he really should be exercising before the training tonight but he can't seem to get up. He sure can do it after Jack comes back from work.

He spends his day eating everything in the fridge and sitting in front of the TV, watching a couple of basketball games. When his brother opens the front door to see Luke slacking, he drops the market bags to the floor and checks if he has a fever with the back of his hand.

"You okay, Lewi?" he furrows his brows. Normally Luke would already be out of the home at this time of evening, heading to the gym.

"Yeah," Luke mumbles, checking his watch before sitting upstraight. Jack sits down on the open seat next to Luke, putting a hand on the blonde's shoulder.

"Yeah?" he asks, concerned.

Luke doesn't answer for a solid minute but then everything comes out of his lips in seconds. "They want me to swim with them. The famous team! Tonight! It’s fucking tonight. I can't-Jack..." His voice gets quieter with every word. He looks desperate.

The older boy squeezes his shoulder, smiling suddenly. “I can watch you from far away, like old times, if that still comforts you?” 

“You don’t have anything else to do?” Luke asks, still looking worried so his brother gets up and pulls the younger boy up with him.

“Let’s go! I can’t wait to see you beat their asses.”

+++

Calum asks him if he would join him on his morning run afew days after he gets in the team. Luke accepts it without even thinking. He goes for a run five times a week anyway, he would enjoy some company. They meet up at the park near the gym.

He meets with Calum’s sister, Mali. She seems lovely but Calum jokingly ignores her for the minute they spend next to her, says she’s not running, just walking fast and Mali ruffles his hair, smiling.

“Are you ready for a race, Hemmings?” Calum dares. Luke likes the kid; he is fun to be around. 

“Yeah, well you are not going to win for sure!” Luke pokes the tan boy’s side, wiggling his brows.  When he thinks they are going to check their timers, Calum disappears from his side.

“We’ll see about that blondie!” he shouts, running away. Luke can’t help but smile, following his new friend.

+++

                After a week he has hopes for a career again. The water doesn’t feel as cold when he has teammates to swim with. They are really good people to be around and very great swimmers, to be specific. Some of them are cocky, like the IM swimmer Jessie or sometimes even Calum who wears his attitude like a crown but they are fine. Nothing can be worse than high school anyway. He’s been swimming his ass off for the past week but he could onlyearn the fifth spot. In his old team, he was considered the fastest. His new place feels like somewhere he can push himself further every single day, especially with their trainer.

Ashton, their trainer, is not much older than most of them, apparently some policy of the gym for motivating their award winning athletes. He is chirpy and polite but has enough authority to put all of them in line. He gives them heavy trainings, checking them individually for their exercise programs and in end of the everyday, Luke finds himself looking forward to sleep his pain away. But whenever he whines, Calum insists the day wasn’t so bad and the others agree somehow, even though they would whine together about how tired they are most of the time before Luke joined the team. He doesn’t understand but he shuts his mouth.

Then he meets the worst. He comes snuggled against Ashton’s lovely personality in a bright summer day. He sees Jessie poking Calum’s side and pointing behind Luke not so secretly. So Luke checks over his shoulder inevitably to see the most beautiful boy he’s ever seen. He has the brightest red color for his fluffy hair, shiny green eyes framed with the darkest under-eye bags, palest skin under the disgusting fluorescent lighting. He is talking softly with Ashton, leaning on him while walking towards them. They look comfortable around each other, leaving Luke wondering if they are just friends or-

“I thought his break would be longer.” Jessie whispers behind him.

Matt hums and adds with a horrified tone. “We are doomed dude.”

Luke doesn’t understand. How can they be scared of something this beautiful? Ashton stops walking with him when the red haired boy nods to something he says; his strong arm unwraps from his waist, leaving the boy without any support. The blond wonders why he needed support in the first place. Then all of a sudden his face turns to stone, his brows furrow together and his body moves unbalanced. He walks towards them and Luke can feel everyone leaving his side, getting ready to dive in. He joins his mates unwillingly but when the boy holds on to the starting platform, shifting his weight to his left leg, grimacing like he is in pain. Luke closes his eyes and jumps into the lane 0.

The boy doesn’t even acknowledge the existence of the new members, he just shouts. “Take a two hundred of freestyle for warming, you useless hangnails!” Luke realizes this is the nightmare his team has been talking about for the past two years but he follows his line and starts swimming anyway. During the training, the swearing never stops and the boy doesn’t show anything to them, just pull the ones doing anything wrong to the side. He makes them get out of the lane and pushes the rest to their limits. Luke suspects that he knows the concept of limits. It’s tiring physically and mentally.

It takes the red haired boy an hour of non-stop laps to pull Luke out. He takes his cap off aggressively and stands next to the others while Calum, Matt, and Jessie are still in the water swimming their asses off. He is not sure if he is angry with himself or the beautiful boy. He watches the final three silently sneaking glances at the pale boy. Luke respects the Jessie girl so much now; she forces Matt to give her the lead even though they are nearly finished with the eight hundred meter freestyle lap. She is probably one of the strongest people he has ever seen. They finish the lap soon enough, the red haired boy stands up from where he has been leaning on the starting board, smiling. His face softens for a second while nodding to the three swimmers, showing his approval. He claps once to get everyone’s attention.

“Go home. I don’t want to see your uncoordinated asses until Ashton fixes you. We are done for today.” Then he walks away, slowly and full of pain. Luke knows he’s having a really hard time with his leg but it doesn’t help how Luke wants to hate his guts.

He gets home earlier than usual but Luke doesn’t think he has been this tired in the past year, physically and mentally. He flops down on his bed without even taking his clothes off and drifts into dreams where the angelic face with a devilish mind hunts him down. He can easily say this is the worst night he has had since he graduated.

+++

 It doesn’t even take a week for things to get unbearable. Calum says his name is Michael, Luke thinks it’s mouthful of curses. He never lets Luke finish long laps and Luke hates standing at the side, turning red all over with humiliation. His words are sometimes too hard to handle and Luke surely looks forward to Ashton’s trainings. They all watch the top three swim like professionals, and stand there all cold and wet, waiting for the red haired boy’s command. He doesn’t understand the idea behind wasting time out of water.

He tries to stay calm but going from being worshipped to getting insulted for his every move is nerve wrecking. He hates every minute of it. He tortures them except the holy trinity. Apparently they already passed Michael’s tests before so he lets them train. Luke manages to get the fourth spot but it doesn’t matter when he gets pulled out every god damn day.

He loses it one day. Michael shouts his name, it echoes from the high ceilings, making him shiver. He stops swimming, water hugs him, and little waves hit the pool wall. He doesn’t even bother swimming to the ladders; he just pulls himself out of the water. His steps are fast and sturdy, aiming for the red haired boy.

“What the fuck are you doing, Hemmings?” Michael seems to realize something’s wrong. He stands up straighter, looking scarier than usual but Luke’s not going to play this game anymore.

He takes his cap and goggles off on his way. “I’m not taking your shit anymore!” He raises his voice, grabbing a handful of Michael’s shirt. He looks at those green eyes and he knows they carry the heaviness of a sick past.

“You know, I did every fucking thing right, just like I’ve been doing for the last week.” It’s a dangerous game he’s playing. There’s a high risk of Michael kicking him out of the team but he continues anyway. “You pull me out every night like it’s your source of fun and I’m tired of doing this. Let me break my records, I can’t do that if you keep wasting my time like this.”

His voice is the only thing he can hear for a solid minute after he stops talking. Michael looks at him, his pink lips forming a smile and Luke can swear the boy looks angelic when he smiles.

A hand snakes around his wrist and it tightens quickly. “If you do something like this one more time, I’ll kick your ass,” Michael hisses, his voice low and husky. “Now go, dive in lane 1, I want you to give me a thousand of freestyle.”

+++

He is sitting on one of the benches inside the locker room, his towel around his waist. He just can’t seem to get himself to get dressed. He is not even tired, but everything is tiring his mind. Not a single thing changed after his outburst. He still gets pulled out, stands out watching everything. Except there are eyes on him, sneaking glances, like observing his every move. He knows Michael’s watching him. He’s just not sure how to feel about it.

It’s weird because he’s not sure why Michael stares. Are those eyes full of hatred or interest? Sometimes their glares meet, sometimes Michael looks away like he is guilty, sometimes Luke looks away out of fear but in a rare occasion they continue. There are silent conversations sometimes, daring each other to do more about it.

Right now it feels like the glares can turn into a dog fight, after Michael’s torture tonight. He feels humiliated by the fact that Michael forced them to make perfect starts, inspecting every meter of the dives.

But instead of going back in and showing him to the floor, he stands up and wears his clothes, ruffling with his flat hair. He stuffs his swimming gear in his bag and grabs the handle.

He is about to leave when Ashton opens the door connecting to the pool area. He is wet, water dripping on his toned body. Apparently he finds towels useless, not bothering with using one. He looks around and smiles at Luke.

“Hey, Luke, how is it going?” He puts his hair up in a bun while eying the things in his locker. Luke would answer that casually if everything felt alright but they don’t.

“Why aren’t you training us anymore?” he says quietly, stepping closer to the older boy. He really wants to know why. But Ashton brushes him off.

“You know, Michael’s a great trainer, Luke.”

“No, no he isn’t. I’m sick of his actions.” Luke sounds furious, all the piled up feelings surfacing. The older boy stops ruffling through his stuff and turns around to face him. He furrows his brows, putting a hand on Luke’s shoulder.

“Okay, you need to calm down.” His grip is tight around the blond boy’s muscles, like a warning for him to stop. They are both aware of Luke’s anger eating him up alive. “I know he can be harsh but everything’s going to fit in their place soon.”

Luke nods silently. He feels dizzy, his anger burning him out quickly. “Yeah, but just so you know, if they don’t fit _in their place_ soon enough. I’m out.” He continues the dangerous game he’s playing. He’s putting everything he has in and hoping for a good card now, but the devil in his dreams is unbearable by now, whisperingto him things he shouldn’t be. He barely gets any sleep some nights.

It’s high risk because he’s been here for two weeks or so but it’s worth taking. He knows he is as good as the golden trio of the team, even better sometimes. It’s not like he’s egoistical, those are what people say about him. He just can’t stand the contempt the other three don’t hear spilling from Michael.

“Okay, let me talk to him and see what we could do,” Ashton simply says, making Luke exhales the breath he was holding. The older boy loosens his grip on his shoulder for a second and Luke uses the opening to escape. He sleeps at least five minutes more that night.

+++

He really is stupid. He can’t believe he didn’t check his phone all day. He was so pumped to get into the gym this morning that he just forgot everything else. He is now standing on the side of the lane 0 and there’s no one around. He is one thousand percent sure there is a message from Calum telling him not to bother coming, just like the first time a week ago. The days are random but apparently their trainers take a day off just like that.

His eyes shuffle around to see someone familiar in the sea of random gym members. He gives up, sitting down on the side of the pool about to dive in when he sees him on the other end of the pool. Those tattoos are far too black on that pale skin to stay unnoticeable. The boy is wearing a black pool cap and matching boxer length speedos.  He is too beautiful for this world and that’s the worst thing about him. If he looked less attractive, Luke could have hated him. But his feelings for him are mostly just annoyance and anger.

He watches Michael swim, water dancing with his smooth moves. Luke never saw his feet in the water, yet alone swimming. He is not the fastest swimmer; he isn’t even remotely fastyet his technique is impeccable. His elbows break through the water sharply, his arms never leaving the side of his body. He takes steady breaths after every six strokes and Luke can see how perfect he is at what he does, why Ashton trusts him, why Calum looks at him with fond eyes. It all makes sense somehow.

Michael takes a turn before something happens; Luke loses him out of his sight for at least half a minute. He stands up, literally running towards the other side. His heart beats too fast and the floor under his feet is slippery. He is around the corner of the pool when he sees Michael pushing himself out. He slows down a little bit, but from here he can see the unsteady rising of the boy’s chest.

Once he is mostly out of the water, Michael rips his swimming gear out of his head, his pale figure lying on his side, all curled up and shaking.

“Fuck,” Luke breathes before he rushes towards him. He kneels beside him, grabbing his face and forcing the boy to look at him.  “Michael, what happened?”

He doesn’t answer but their eyes never leave each other’s, not even for a second. He looks out of breath before there are tears rolling down on his pink cheeks. His eyes green color washes out with the lighting and the tears. Luke’s fingers slip from the boy’s face when a few painful hiccups leave his lips. Luke forgets what to do, just stares down at the beautiful boy before him.

_Michael was a thunderstorm and now he is drowning in his rain._ And Luke needs to save him somehow.

He leans forward to whisper. “Just don’t move. I’m going to find help, okay?” He caresses the red tinted hair for once, and then he just runs.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Umm okay I'm such a trash, I made you wait over three weeks and added things I wasn't planning to. I hope you all enjoy this chapter.

He screams for help, checking Michael over his shoulder multiple times. Then someone grabs his shoulders to stop him. He can’t seem to recognize the person, but he begs for help. He’s not sure if he is crying for himself or if Michael’s shuddering body is breaking his heart. He runs right back to him when the person in front of him loosens their grip, promising him to find someone who can help.

Luke kneels in front of Michael to check him but Michael curls himself into a ball, closing himself from world, except his left leg lays where it was seconds ago, it moves a little but Michael doesn’t even try to pull it into his stomach. Then Luke sees the problem. It’s on Michael’s inner thigh, for the most part hidden under the swimsuit. His skin is different, mostly white like an old scar but there are more pinkish stitch marks on it.

“Michael!” Someone cries behind them but Luke’s too scared to look away from the scar. Michael’s jolts decrease and he lifts his arm over his red-rimmed beautiful green orbs to check who it is. A hiccup escapes from his chapped lips and Luke feels short of breath.

There’s someone kneeling next to him, wrapping their arms around Michael but his sight is blurry. His brain doesn’t pick up anything but Michael. How his hair lays flat on his face and sticks to his temples, how he buries his head into the other person’s chest, how his left leg stays motionless.

He stays there, on his knees, on the cold wet floor until someone advices him to go home. He tries to get up and go but his mind doesn’t let go of Michael’s images. He barely can find his things before heading out.  His wishes for good sleep seem to vanish. He doesn’t have those nightmares of his imagination hunting him anymore but he never realized how reality could hurt before.

+++

His phone doesn’t stop ringing the next morning. He whines, rolling to his side to pull his phone out of charge. He answers it without even checking the caller id, pressing it to his ear and burying his face in his pillow.

“Yeah?”

“Hey, Luke.” It’s Calum, without his usual chirpy self, his voice is filled up with concern. Luke places the phone between his neck and shoulder and rubs his face with his palms. It feels like he should be awake.

“Heeey… Calum?”

“Can we meet up?” Calum asks and his voice comes from a distance this time.

Luke accepts immediately.

They meet up after an hour in a café across their gym. The glass roofing of the pool looks incredible when it’s all fogged up. Calum buys them iced coffees then sits across from him. He tries to smile but fails. Luke then knows something is up.

“What did you want to talk about, Cal?” He tries to give the brunet some courage, starting the conversation for him.

“This week’s trainings are canceled,” Calum spits out, hiding behind his coffee cup. He looks down, a little shadow of his long lashes on his cheeks. He really is sad. _Michael…_

“Will he be okay?” he asks instead of questioning why Ashton’s not coming.

“Physically,” Calum starts and then he inhales a deep breath like it can ease the sentences. “He will be like our last training. Mentally, I don’t know how much more he can handle.” Luke doesn’t think any breath can ease that. Calum is having a hard time talking about it but Luke wants to learn more.

  So he pushes his limits. “What happened to him?” He sips his coffee, acting natural as he can.

Calum still doesn’t look at him, staring outside. “That’s not my story to tell, Luke. But we met up not because I’d like to hang out with you, at least not this time.” He smiles slowly. “He will be glad if his star student came to see him. And maybe, you could get your answers.”

“He acts horrible to me. To us!” The blond boy exclaims

“You know, Matty had worse and Jessie too.” Calum smirks; something in his eyes tells he remembers those days clearly.

“And you?”

“Well, let’s say I have family advantage. We’ve been friends since, like, the womb.” Calum shines when he talks about Michael, Luke notices. He should have guessed they were friends.  He nods, smiling behind his coffee.

“So do you have the address?”

+++

Luke is sitting in front of the TV when his brother comes home with his girlfriend. He goes to the kitchen while his girlfriend sits on the side of the couch.

“So are you excited to be eighteen, Lukey?” she asks.

Luke shrugs. “I have the week off, so maybe we’ll celebrate it early. Like a night out in the city?” Jack’s girlfriend seems excited about it and apparently talks about it with Jack.  They settle on that it’d be better I’d they all drive home to spend all of Luke’s birthday week at home with their family. His brother manages to get three days off of work to do so. Luke calls his mother the day before to let her know they are coming.

Even though he missed his home, being away from gym for a week feels weird.

So now he’s standing in front of Michael’s house in the late afternoon with a pack of six beers in hand. He won’t be in the city for the rest of the week and he’s not really sure how he can talk with Michael when they fall back into their normal schedule.

The house is not what Luke expected, it’s nothing like Jack’s apartment or the building’s around his gym. It’s an old three story brick building with a giant entrance, making Luke feel small next to it.

He rings the bell to it to be opened by a middle-aged maid. She takes the beer in his hand, thanking him, and ushers him upstairs.  “It’s the second door to the right,” she lets him know before disappearing behind a white wooden door.

He suspects there’s no one else until he hears the faint gun sounds. He sneaks a glance before pushing the door open. It’s really dark inside, except from the lighting of the TV. He figures the sounds are coming from the game of Call of Duty.

“It’s been hours Ashton, where have you been?” He hears Michael call from the couch in front of him. He stays silent, not sure of what to say so Michael pauses the game and looks behind his shoulder.

“Oh…”  It was awkward to see Michael this casual. He was expecting some cliché sick scenario after seeing him that hurt. But he’s here, in front of him with healthy pink cheeks and gleaming green eyes, being a teenage boy.

“Hey.” He waves, even though they are a meter away from each other.

“Hey, Luke.”  He bites his bottom lip. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Yeah, I know. I should have called but I was worried about you. Calum said it was-”

Michael cuts him in the middle of his sentence, furrowing his brows, just like the way Luke got used to seeing him. “I’m going to kill that hairless mole rat.” Luke laughs at his words mostly because he is relieved. Seeing Michael swear became a part of his daily life somehow. Michael stops his angry grumbling when he hears Luke’s laugh. Luke’s sure there are thousands of things he wants to say but he settles on: “Do play COD?”

“Sometimes, yeah.”

“Come play with me? I’m kinda bored,” he says softly, finding another controller next to him under some fabric.  As Luke steps closer he sees those fabrics are mostly covering his thighs and he is resting his left leg on an ottoman.

“Ashton said he would return quickly with food soon enough but it’s been hours. I’m going to kill that mop head,” he babbles as soon as Luke flops down next to him. They start a new game for two even though Michael’s team was clearly winning the last one.

Michael’s reflexes are good, actually more than just good. The blond boy wonders if that comes from swimming. He kills the game and all the other games they play while waiting for Ashton and soon he realizes Michael is a little bit clingy. Luke is okay with it but clearly Michael sees himself as extra luggage for everyone. He apologizes to Luke like a million times for making him stay.

It’s all so different from how he is in trainings, he only yells at the characters or the controllers even though Luke clearly sucks at most of the games they play. He still does curse a lot but it’s never towards someone, well except when they talk about Ashton or Calum. Michael seems to be fond of the two, smiling broadly whenever the conversation turns out about them, just like Calum did a few days ago.

A couple of hours later Ashton bursts in Michael’s room, turning on the lights, making the two hiss at the light like vampires. “Oi, I’m home, honey!” he mocks, giggling afterwards. His laughter soon dies when sees Luke sitting on the couch. “Oh, hey Luke,” he says, still not sure of what’s happening.

“Looks like Ashton came, I should go now.” He stands up immediately, putting the controller down. “I hope you will get better, Michael.” He mumbles quickly and rushes out of the door. Once he’s out, he pulls his hair out. He can’t believe he forget to ask his question.

+++

They arrive at his parent’s home on the afternoon of his birthday. His mom cooks them a fancy dinner. His whole family is sitting around the table when he blows the candles. His brothers mock him but they are proud of their little brother. It shows.

Home is great, real great.

Luke sneaks out of it the day after, taking Jack’s car with him. He drives for an hour or so up the shore. He can’t wait to be in his grandfather’s beach house.

The place holds so many memories of Luke and all of his family meetings. Like the day Luke swam all by himself for the first time. He was sitting on his grandfather’s shoulders when the old man grabbed his lanky body and dropped him in the sea. It was horrifying for a second until Luke figured that he could float by himself without any kid toys. He remembers the proud face his grandfather had.

Or the day Luke forced his parents to drive up here when he got into his primary school’s swimming team. His grandfather bought him a popsicle and they spent the afternoon on the same beach Luke learned how to swim. His grandfather was always there, in the front seat watching Luke’s competitions. He was there when his brothers tried to teach him how to surf and he whined about how he hates swimming in the huge waves.

Soon they let him be and when he started high school they forgot he was a swimmer at all. So his grandfather was his only cheerleader until he achieved something massive. He couldn’t blame his parents; his brothers were in university deciding their lives and it was important for all of them. His grandfather helped him get into national competitions, he wasn’t alone in this.

When he parks the car, he gets out immediately, running to the back porch where his grandfather always sits and watch people. He takes of his clothes while still running until he is in his old swim suit he found in his parents’ house.

“Hey old pal!” he screams, checking his grandfather over his shoulder. He continues his run towards sea when his grandfather flashes him a smile.

The salty water is cold against his skin but it’s refreshing even though Luke hates the ever-changing bottom of the sea. He swims rather slowly through the harsh waves. Surprisingly the water isn’t crowded like how it usually is in July and Luke enjoys it, lying on his back, floating on the surface while the sun hits his face. It’s a nice contrast with the water.

Fifteen, maybe twenty minutes later, he gets out of the water, jogging towards the old wooden house. His grandfather has iced tea set up on the table next to where he sits.  Luke smiles broadly, hugging the old man.

“You can’t believe what happened, old man.”

+++

As a result of the good week at home, he loses his spot behind Calum. He’s not concerned about it; he can swim back to the top. Ashton returns to training them but he doesn’t act as soft as the first week. He yells and makes them start again with every big mistake. Luke’s not sure how this hard shell both Michael and Ashton pulls help with the training. The ones behind the lane seems scared of them.

In a couple of days, their training hours change, mostly scheduled after the closing hours of the pool. Luke doesn’t ask why considering most of this year’s long-course is over. He gets all the hard work and six days a week of trainings in the summer. If they want to race in the next short-course, they are going to need all of that.

But he doesn’t skip an opportunity for fun when Calum invites him out with Jessie. They go to a nice pub with bright pool lighting up the space. Everything else is dimly lit. Calum looks happy when he shows up, pushes a bottle of dark beer in his hand right after he sits down. It’s a different choice for starters but Luke stays silent about it, making small conversation with Jessie

There’s something different about Calum, he usually is a ray of sunshine but tonight it’s about the way he laughs, how he moves on the dance floor. Jessie joins him at some point, her curvy body swings around his tall one. They look like _something._ Or maybe Luke’s too lonely to differentiate a relationship from friendship.

He gets up to walk towards the bar even though there are waiters in the place. He watches the barista pour him scotch with soda. He probably shouldn’t mix it up, drinking hard liquor after beer but it seems like a good idea at that moment. Maybe it would give him some confidence so he could dance with his friends too. He sips his drink slowly, cringing at the bad taste it leaves on his tongue.

Jessie appears next to him. “They are trying to set us up, you know that Lukey. Right?” She sounds funny after all those drinks. “A mojito, please?” She asks turning to the barista, changing the foot she’s leaning on.

There are probably ten thousand questions Luke should ask about the situation but he manages a weak: “They?”

Jessie laughs at his question like he’s being ridiculous. She raises her tall glass in the direction of the dance floor.

Then Luke sees them. Calum is leaning towards a shorter figure, a man as muscly as him. Luke barely catches the golden mop of curls when Calum wraps his arm around the boy’s shoulders. _Ashton._

“Holy shit.” Luke laughs, bringing his glass to his lips. He continues to watch his friend snuggle closer to their instructor. Ashton leaves a loving peck on Calum’s temple.

“Mhm.” Jessie gulps down her sip _,_ laughing with him. “Shhh, it’s a secret.”

Luke doesn’t really remember the last time he was that intimate with anyone. He doesn’t remember nuzzling his nose to someone else’s hair and be okay with it. Between the trainings and school, he never found time for it. The loneliness never bugs him when he goes home drained, falling asleep the moment his body touches the mattress.

Luke glances back at them. They stay quiet in the middle of thumbing bass, like they are in their own personal bubble. He’s not sure if it’s jealousy he’s feeling so he finishes his drink up, taking Jessie’s hand and pulling her towards the dance floor.

 Maybe he should enjoy his surroundings, and maybe there will be someone in the crowd who can make him feel like Calum and Ashton.

+++

In a week, Ashton divides them into four groups. He puts the golden trio on lane 3 while Luke swims on lane 2. He’s still with the fast ones but Ashton keeps them closer, controlling their moves as opposed to asking random laps from the other three. But still they are not the time consumers, so he gets little time to talk with Calum between laps.

“Thanks for the other night.” Calum whispers over the lane rope when Luke touches the wall, finishing his backstroke lap.

He pushes his goggles to his forehead. “For what? Setting me up with Jessie?” he whispers back, checking Jessie over Calum’s shoulder and making sure she doesn’t hear it.

Calum giggles, playing with one of the rings on the rope. “For covering me and Ash, it looked like a team meet-up.” There’s a blush rising on his tan face.

  _So Ashton wouldn’t be fired from his job._ Luke smiles, putting an encouraging hand on Calum’s bicep. “It’s okay, Cal.”

They hear Ashton’s shout, full of authority. “Hey Hood, your lane, four hundred of medley.” With that, Calum put his goggles on and leads his group to a hundred meters of backstroke.

“Lane 2, take two hundred of butterfly, yeah?” Ashton continues before returning to help the ones on lane zero. They are good, better than most out there but they do simple technical mistakes, a lot. So Ashton puts his time on them, he has the authority but he acts softer towards them, far from Michael’s strict dictatorship ways.

Luke swims after his teammates.

+++

Luke still has sleepless nights. Just four hours ago he was so exhausted he fell asleep immediately but now he’s wondering in the house for a sleeping pill. He tries to stay silent, turning on the TV with low volume.

It’s all so different for him, for a boy who slept all night long most of his life. When Michael got out of the picture, Luke assumed they would end. But he’s here on his brother’s couch with a blanket, trying to forget the image of shaking pale body. It’s too hard when the black tattoos abuse Luke’s memories with his serene smile.

It bugs him how different he acted towards Luke in his ginormous house from the gym. He was all too calm with the controller in his short fingers. Suddenly Luke wants know who he really is and what happened to him. Most especially, why he couldn’t swim that night.

He dozes off on the couch while thinking about it. Jack pokes him awake before he leaves for work. He gets up anyway, turning the TV off. He ditches his morning run to see his fucking nightmare and gets his answers.

He doesn’t wait too long this time around before buzzing the bell. He expects the same woman to open the door but he finds Michael in front of him, sitting on a wheel chair.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” the boy hisses at Luke.

The blond boy notices the stark white hair against the almost as fair skin. His green eyes shine brightly and there’s a cast on his left thigh. “Uhh,” he mumbles, trying to earn more time to find a reasonable answer. “I-I wanted know how you are doing?” He raises his brows with a guilty face.

Michael rolls his eyes before backing his wheel chair. “Yeah, whatever.” He shrugs and bellows. “Calum! Come down, you mole rat!”

Luke doesn’t expect Calum to be here either but the raven-haired boy appears on the grand stairs Luke climbed last week, giggling at something Ashton says. Now that he pays attention, Luke can see how compatible they are. Ashton hugs the raven boy from behind, whispering to his ear. Then they look down, recognizing Luke.

“Oh,” Calum bites his bottom lip, poking Ashton’s ribs with his elbows. “Hey, Luke.”

Michael cringes at his friends. “I want you to get the hell out of here by tonight. You two can make out on your own bed,” he yells. Luke feels relieved seeing him act like a grumpy old man. “You, noodle boy, let’s play GTA.”

Calum nods slowly while Ashton watches them with a soft smile on his lips. Luke bites his lips, following after Michael.

They play for a while and he forces himself to remember what he came here for. He still wants to know why Michael is this angry at the world. He tries to remember but it’s tricky when Michael is sitting next to him, all focused with furrowed brows. His lips puffy and red like he had been making out with someone. Luke wonders how Michael’s lips would feel against his. Would he be dominant like how he is most of the time or would he melt into a kiss?

“What are you looking at, Hemmings?” Michael whispers without looking away from his game. Luke’s fingers stop for a second and his character gets badly shot. He gulps audibly. He doesn’t know what to answer so he pays more attention to the game.

But it doesn’t last long when Michael exits from the game and turns to face Luke. “You came back to put your nose in my life, didn’t you?” He looks angry, his fingers curl around a cushion, his lips pursing together.

“I was worried about you. It’s not exactly a pleasant view to see your instructor drown, is it, Michael?” he strikes back. He doesn’t want to sound mean but he does and it puts Michael off.

He looks away from Luke, his bleached fringe hiding his face from Luke. He swears under his breath before rubbing his face with his palm, he looks uncomfortable.

“You don’t have to explain anything,” Luke suggests even though he really wants to know.

Michael sighs, his shoulders fall and he looks defeated. “Did you drive here?” he asks instead. He continues swiftly when Luke answers negatively. “Bring us some beer from the kitchen and I’ll tell you.”

Luke wanders around for little bit after that until he finds the kitchen, and then finding beer in it. The house is really big, like what wealthy families in the movies live in. Luke feels lucky that he’s not lost yet. When he goes back, he sees a glimpse of Ashton carrying some luggage down. They smile at each other as they pass.

The TV is closed in the living room when Luke enters. Michael is still sitting at the same spot but staring out of the window. Luke flops down beside him, offering one of the beers. Michael drinks half of the bottle, closing his eyes.

“Two years before this, I was one of the youngest in the adults’ long-course,” he mumbles lazily. “I didn’t know how important it was and didn’t appreciate it enough like most of the stupid sixteen year olds do.” He sighs again, his bottom lip twitches. “I got a little fame and with my parents’ money,” he points his surroundings with the bottle in his hand, “I had everything I ever wanted, so I lost my way. I drank too much, partied too loud, acted too recklessly. A car crash was all it took to end my career.” Michael finishes his beer so quickly; sipping after every sentence. Luke suggests his still almost full one. The older boy takes it.

“My thigh bone was broken into four fucking pieces. I had surgeries after spending nearly half a year in a cast. I have disgusting scars where the bone stuck out.” He laughs, a defense mechanism. “I tried to swim after two years and I really felt great, you know, everything was perfect. I’m pretty sure the planets and shit were aligned,” he mocks. “Now I’m a prisoner of this fucking cast once again.”

Luke doesn’t know what to say. Nothing can fix the past; he can’t say anything without it sounding pitying. So he does the only thing he can think that can lessen the pain. He grabs Michael’s chin between his pointer finger and thumb, crashing their lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can always come find me at [outlaw-of-ideal](outlaw-of-ideal.tumblr.com)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feelings and being a teenage boy if horrifying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for not updating nearly for a month. I'm really shitty with chaptered fics. If you are still reading this thank you.
> 
> Also thank you [Max](http://archiveofourown.org/users/thnksfrthmxn) and [Romi](http://whosbilliejoe.tumblr.com/) for helping me out with this. Love ya guys.

Michael’s lips are soft, softer than he could ever imagine but his movements are rough. His body leans towards Luke, pressing him to the back of the couch and his hands find their way through blonde strands, pulling them harshly. Luke drags his hand to the back of Michael’s neck. It feels intimate, like Michael’s telling everything that has hurt him through the kiss. Luke feels it deep down in his chest when the plump lips suck on his bottom one and when a tiny whine escapes between them so Luke cherishes it, kissing him slowly, trying to take away the pain. He can feel the storms Michael’s been through against his lips, how the next one waits for him to break. He plays with the surprisingly soft bleached hair on the back of his neck, trying to calm another storm.

Michael pants for a breath, his lips still brushing against Luke’s. He doesn’t open his eyes so Luke watches dark blonde lashes flutter against the soft fair skin. Their foreheads are still pressed together and he can feel the fingers sliding in his hair, acting unsure about holding on to the strands now. “What the fuck?” he hears Michael say, it’s barely a whisper. He doesn’t sound mad though, more like he can’t believe what just happened. Luke can’t either.

Their gazes meet and Luke can swear those green eyes are shinning and there is a tiny smile dangling on the bruised lips. And they hear Ashton’s tired voice cutting their silence. “We are all done!”

Luke doesn’t know where all the hate he felt for Michael slipped, or why does he want to taste those bitten lips again to be honest. It’s like he is fifteen all over again, unknown feelings rushing in his body, he is trying to name them but he can’t. He strokes behind his ears, smiling at his breathless figure.

“It was a nice game,” Michael mumbles incoherently, not even trying to make sense just for sake of making a conversation out of it. He’s backing away some more, this time it’s more than an inch, creating proper space between them. As if on cue Calum steps in the room, eyeing them curiously. He probably suspects something but stays silent about it.

“We are ready to leave,” he holds on to the frame of the door.

“Yeah,” Michael nods, his gaze wonders between Calum and Luke.

Luke’s not sure what to do, if he should leave now or help the others. He gulps and pats on Michael’s right leg before he stands up to leave. “I should go too,” he says, scratching the back of his head, slowly walking out of the room. “I’ll see you tonight on the training, yeah?” He doesn’t look back at Michael, too scared of what he will have to see.  He rushes out of the house with Calum’s answer.

It’s not even about genders anymore; his sixteen year old self had already imagined kissing boys roughly and much more than just that. He came to accept himself but kissing Michael was on a different level of crazy. His lips tasted of sugar and bitterness, reminding Luke that he shouldn’t be doing this. He shouldn’t be kissing the person who became his nightmare.

That night he saw Michael in his sleep but this time his lips weren’t scrunched while yelling at him on how Luke was failing. His lips were on Luke’s body, whispering his name against his hot skin. It was a different kind of nightmare.

+++

A couple of days later, Ashton brings two other trainers with him, announcing that they are going to time their laps. Calum and Jessie look so happy, hugging each other. It’s really important for them considering they are medley swimmers; they have to know their times for every style.

The thing is Ashton doesn’t have a timer in hand and they still have four lanes. It doesn’t make sense until he makes the lane 0 and 1 get out of the water and brings a long stick with him. _Oh._ He is making them practice starts.

Ashton starts talking; his voice is loud and all serious. “If my friends over there decide you got disqualified, you come back here and learn how to swim until I decide you do. Until you can stand in front of me and say _I can break records!_ Understood?” He stands on the side of the pool with the wooden stick in his hand. The other lanes make a queue in front of the starting board, mostly the younger ones, Luke notices. The ones with no rush to be ready for the short course season, most of them have school during the season anyways.

Soon enough Luke thinks he is lucky that he is not in the line or he would go crazy. Luke had been in the front of his lane so there’s Matt waiting next to him, stretching his arms before they get any directions. His right foot is on the ladder of the starting board, his toes curling on the edge of the plastic for balance. Matt has that determined look on his face, one people can assume it’s kind of angry; he acts like this is a real race. It’s a good attitude, being serious about everything you do. It can make you the one standing on the highest level with gold around your neck. Luke already knows he lost this race but he doesn’t want to be mocked of. He still has his dignity.

The blond instructor announces this one as a basic hundred-meter freestyle. Luke puts his googles on seconds before they hear the first whistle. He quickly climbs up, leaning forward to touch his toes, taking his position to provide himself a powerful start.

They wait longer than usual for the second whistle, one of the instructors has to check if everything’s alright. He can already feel adrenalin rushing in his veins the moment his skin meets the water. He keeps his focus quite well for the first fifty meters.  He doesn’t lose too much time trying to breathe, keeping his breaths steady between seven strokes.  He makes his turn seconds after Matt does and just then his body screams for him to stop. He can’t really keep up with Matt’s speed yet so he tries to steady himself again. He pushes himself further, keeping the distance between them as close as possible. But this half of the lap feels more difficult ever.

When he presses his palm to tile wall, he feels drained. Matt is already out of the water and smiling broadly. Luke wishes it could be him smiling but he pushes himself out of the water instead of saying it out loud.

“It’s 55.61 seconds. Good job kiddo,” Calum says, poking his sides.

It doesn’t hit him first, he still feels numb and short of breath. And he gets the meaning behind those words; he fucking broke his own record. He did it. Even though Matt probably got so much closer to the world record and they should be celebrating it, Luke feels too damn happy to care about his failure.

 “I fucking did it!” he shouts, hugging then lifting Calum up and his little group of friends cheer enthusiastically.

+++

Well, there’s this thing called team runs and Luke hates them. Every swimming team has them with different name variations and they suck ass. He used to run around school’s footie pitch and everyone, even people from other teams, would stare at them, he hated the feeling competing with his teammates out of the water for his reputation’s sake. Luke thought this team could be an exception because of Ashton checking their training schedules personally but here he is, standing in the middle of _somewhere,_ some kind of track and field place. 

It’s nearly the end of August, the humid feeling in the air is everywhere and they are sweating their asses off. He hates being here, standing in sweatpants and surrounded by people. They are waiting for Ashton to appear so they can skip the shithole part of this day. The older boy promised the team fine food if they go through this, a great way to trick teenagers who eat like elephants.

Just about five minutes after the stated time, Calum and Ashton decide to show up. Everyone cheers mostly because seeing the boxes in Calum’s hands, partly they can start exercises. Luke doesn’t pay attention to them until Jessie grabs his shoulders and makes him turn around.

It’s just like the first time Luke saw him. His beautiful face is illuminated with a big smile while he is leaning on Ashton. They walk slowly towards the team and there are crutches in Ashton’s hand this time. He can see the struggle Michael goes through when he tries to put on his usual serious face. He looks hurt but there isn’t a cast around his leg anymore. Ashton helps him to settle on a bench before running towards them but Luke can’t take his eyes away from Michael.

His cheeks are flushed red from the effort he put into walking and his bleached strands look just as messy as the night Luke’s dug his fingers into it. He hears Ashton shouting from a distance but he can’t bring himself to run until Calum leaves the group to stay close with Luke.

“Leave after second lap,” Calum whispers, hand still gripping the side of Luke’s shirt. The run feels usual, he does this every single day, it’s the environment that bothers him. Watching Michael from the side of his eyes helps too. The way Michael watches every single one of them, studying the way they run makes Luke want to learn what is going on that mind of his.

Just like Calum promised, two laps later, he pulls Luke to the side, excusing that they are going to bring food. Calum goes back to the car, leaving Luke near Michael. He watches how his brows furrow while watching the team. He’s so concentrated it takes a few minutes for the boy to figure out Luke is standing next to him. His face breaks into a smile while sliding on the seat so Luke can sit.

“Hey,” he says, still staring at Michael. His eyes are bloody gorgeous when he smiles.

“Hi.”

They stay silent for a short period but this time for Luke it feels content. But he can’t stay quiet for long when he still wants to learn more about Michael. “How are you feeling?” he asks, tilting his head to point his leg.

The older boy sighs. “I’ve had better days but it’s better than before.”

Luke nods slowly, watching his teammates on the field before Michael talks again. “I’ve heard that you got really close to fifty seconds.” Luke turns to look at his face and Michael looks interested and happy. Luke can see how swimming still is a big part of the older boy’s life.

“Yeah, Ashton says I can pass the record. It’s not like I can but, you know, it’s a nice thought.”

“We’ll see about that,” Michael mumbles and goes back to watch the others. Their silence gets cut by Calum, again. He puts his arm around their necks but it’s the distinct smell of smoke drawing Luke’s attention.

“Put it out you obnoxious mole rat, Ashton will kill you if he sees it,” Michael says without breaking his gaze from the team. Calum lets Michael’s shoulders go to take the cigarette from between his lips.

“Yeah?” He dares. “And who is gonna tell him? You, ghost boy?” Michael grumbles under his breath, making Luke chuckle. It’s familiar; just like how Ben and Jack used to argue.

“What’s so funny, Lukey boy?” Calum asks, blowing the smoke away from them. Well, that’s a considerate move.

“Your ass,” Michael answers before Luke can even think of something.

“Michael, I’m officially kicking you out of the family dinner and replacing you with Luke.”

“Fuck off, Calum,” Michael huffs and Calum presses a sweet kiss to his pale cheek. He gives up quickly, wraps an arm around Calum’s middle. They are like long lost brothers, arguing about nothing all the time as a display of love. It’s cute.

Then Calum asks; “Okay but seriously, Luke, come to our family dinner,” out of nowhere. He should probably think about it before answering. Because he has a lot of questions like what family, who are going to be there, why is he invited but he says yes anyway.

+++

It’s Friday night, it’s a normal thing for the Hemmings boys to go out. But Luke never pays attention to what he is wearing. He usually throws something decent and goes out so when he takes too long to decide, Jack starts to bug him. He mocks Luke’s skinny jeans and how a swimmer could have those weedy looking legs even though he has thighs thicker than his waist. Then the questioning comes, asking who the special person is. Luke hopes just friends is a satisfying answer. It’s not a lie in the end. It’s a battle to get out of the house when his brother is threatening him with calling Ben so he can investigate further. He doesn’t feel like dealing with him that moment. He grabs his things and runs out of the door.

 Luke hasn’t known what to expect from Ashton’s house, but it’s not this clearly. The apartment building is at the opposite side of the spectrum from Jack’s, with its cream walls and wooden floor boards. It’s small and crowded. He can see Michael’s bleached hair from behind the large couch, he’s playing a multiple player game on the playstation, Ashton is running around with a teenage girl over his shoulders, giggling and there’s Calum wearing an apron without a shirt and a spatula in hand, opening the door for Luke. That moment is really chaotic. It’s a lovely chaos though.

Calum rushes back into some room, Luke assumes it’s the kitchen, he _really_ hopes it’s the kitchen. Ashton waves at him while running to one of the rooms with the cheerful screams of the teenage girl.

He hears Michael laugh, so he invites himself in. He can’t wait to see his beautiful face. As he walks closer to the giant couch he sees a mop of golden hair swallowed by it, a little boy, the cause of Michael’s laugh. They are playing a war game Luke can’t spot its name. He looks down at the cd case in his hands, not sure about giving it anymore because it’s embarrassing and it belongs to Luke’s childhood.

“Umm,” he scratches the back of his neck, smiling softly. Michael looks at him with his pale eyes, looking more greyish than Luke has ever seen before. His lips are so red, like they are bitten raw. He wants to kiss him again so he can bite them himself, maybe wound them so the pale boy would remember the kiss for days. And he has a dark stubble that Luke wants to feel against his naked skin.

“Hey there,” Michael says, making the little boy turn around too. Luke doesn’t know how to continue for a moment. He decides on sitting down next to the boy is a good option. He hands the game to Michael.

“I brought you something to play? I hope it will work with your system.” He scrunches his face, not knowing what response he will get. Michael opens the paper quickly and runs his fingers on the surface of the box, bites down onhis bottom lip. The young boy climbs over Michael’s side to rest his head on the older boy’s shoulder so he can see what the ‘gift’ is.  Luke doesn’t think the boy even knows what it is; the game isn’t that popular nowadays. He finds out he’s right a few minutes later when the boy asks Michael what it is.

“It is the one of the greatest games in history, Harry,” he states, looking up to meet Luke’s gaze before giving the old Tekken CD to the boy’s hands. His eyes are shining so bright when he mouths a ‘thank you’.  This is the happiest Luke’s ever seen him.

Luke nods slowly. “Maybe you should teach Harry how to play it, Michael?” he suggests, extending a hand to the little boy. “I’m Luke by the way.”

The boy holds his hand, showing off his big smile and dimples coming from his family’s genes. “I’m Harry.”

“Nice to meet you, buddy.”

The dinner is magnificent if Luke needs to use fancy words. Apparently Calum can cook very well and the pie Anne, Ashton’s mother, made is one of the most delicious things he has ever eaten. He finds out Harry is the youngest member of the Irwin family and the girl Ashton was carrying on his shoulders is Lauren, Ashton’s other sibling.

It’s a warm home. It feels just like when he was living with his family, when Jack was there too. Michael is a part of this family too; he can see it. Anne acts like his mother, telling him to finish his meal before the desert, even bringing some pills right after dinner so he won’t forget to take them. Calum finds himself a spot snuggled under Ashton’s arms in this family. He’s not sure where Luke himself belongs in this picture but he’s glad he could see his friends this happy and peaceful.

He shows Harry how to play his once favorite game when Luke was around his age and the young boy gets the hang of it pretty quickly, kicking Luke’s ass several times. Michael teases him relentlessly, acting like a box commentator. 

They end up on a balcony around midnight. Anne makes the kids go to bed even though tomorrow is Saturday and then takes a cup of tea and goes to her room too. Ashton and Calum are snuggled close on the loveseat, lost in their own worlds. He wonders how the hell they fell for each other this badly.

Michael is sitting on a comfortable armchair and Luke has brought himself a chair from the living room. It’s nice and somewhat chilly outside. Luke loves it when the city lets them breathe from the humid hotness at the night time. They talk about a lot of things, mostly about video games and food. He finds out once you get used to eating like a bear your habits don’t change even though you don’t swim anymore. Well he finds Michael’s little tummy _pretty damn cute_. Once the conversation turns to Luke’s timings, Michael gets all serious and requests Ashton to keep track of them but apparently it’s not that appealing next to Calum’s lips. It’s sweet of him to even think about Luke. His ways of trainings are hard and incomprehensible but Michael cares and it leaves Luke wondering what if he was still there training them.

It’s the most fun he had for some time but the best part of his night is when Michael walks him to the door. He insists on doing so even though Luke says he doesn’t need to. Michael can be very stubborn when he wants to. He gets up suddenly making Luke stand up in seconds and hold him. Michael still has really hard time walking but it’s nothing compared to the pain Luke’s seen on his face that night.

So he lets Michael lean on and walk with him. Michael is still pretty strong though, his back muscles tighten under Luke’s fingers, his grip around Luke’s waist is firm and once they are far enough from the family he has the strength to push Luke against the wall.

“You have the tiniest waist,” he smiles, closing the space between them and untangling his arm around Luke, caressing the skin where his shirt crumples. One of his hands has a tight grip on Luke’s bicep for balancing himself but he doesn’t even need that because they are nearly pressed together. “And you have kissed me,” his voice is deep, making Luke’s insides tingly. He should have guessed that they would talk about this.

Luke rests his head on the wall, looking at the gorgeous man in front of him behind hooded eyes. “I may have done that,” he whispers. “Am I found guilty?”

Michael leans in, pressing their temples together, his breath tingling Luke’s skin, sending shivers down his spine. “You kinky bastard,” he chuckles.

Luke feels the blush rising on his body, but Michael’s lips feels so nice on his neck. He barely finds the courage to sneak a hand between their bodies, gripping the front of Michael’s shirt. “Would you let me if I wanted a goodbye kiss?” he whispers.

“Shit, yes. Yeah I would,” Michael breaths, tilting his head and going just a tad bit away so he can get a look at Luke. His fingers dig into Luke’s hard muscles and he can feel every curve of the blonde’s body against his.

When their lips connect it’s sweet and calm but it doesn’t take long before it becomes heated and rushed and they are losing their breaths. Michael sneaks his hand under Luke’s shirt, bumping against his toned muscles. Luke has thin lips but he is very talented with them, using the perfect amount of pressure, pulling on Michael’s bottom lip, making him moan. Michael let’s Luke in his mouth, sliding their tongues together and Luke is pushing his thigh between his legs. _Oh God, that feels nice._ He moans but he’s glad his moans get swallowed by Luke’s kiss. He wouldn’t want Harry or La-

_Holy shit!_ He pulls away a couple of inches, barely breathing. “I’m sorry. It’s just-” he rambles “Kids.” He can’t even think straight let alone piece a sentence.

“Yeah.” Luke smiles and steals a peck from hislips before reaching the door handle. “I should go.”

+++

Luke keeps feeling tingly afterwards. He still can feel the pressure against his lips when he gets under his sheets. He kicks and turns around because his skin is burning even with the air conditioning on.

He gives up on sleeping not long after. His teenage mind is drifting in dangerous territory again and he is so fucking hard. He tries to calm himself down, his face pressed down on his cool pillow, trying to think about something else other than Michael, like anything. It’s not really working, not when even the friction he gets from just turning around in bed is _so good._ He sneaks a hand under his sweatpants whilst grinding down on the mattress. Michael’s name slips between his lips too many times he bites his lips to not make sound to wake his brother.

 He imagines how better it could be if Michael was sitting between his thighs, pressing him facedown to bed, bossing him around. Maybe he would fuck Luke to oblivion and maybe that would get him out of Luke’s mind for a while.

It’s difficult not to think about him though. He is the most beautiful person Luke’s ever come across in a while. He has _really_ long lashes, Luke still can feel them fluttering against his cheeks. His lips taste so good, they have their own flavor Luke thinks he can never get enough of and they have only kissed twice. His voice is raspy probably from being loud all the time and Luke can’t handle the idea of him whimpering.

It’s so fucked up. Luke’s so fucked up already. He tightens his grip and rolling his hips faster to meet his fist. It only takes a few minutes and a brush of his thumb on his slit for Luke to come undone. His pants and moans are swallowed by his pillow and his hand is covered in his come, his legs are shaking, he has hard time catching his breath for a while. He feels too worn out to even get his hand out of his pants, his eyelids are too heavy.

 He drifts off to sleep in seconds and Michael is still there in his dreams.

+++

There’s a team thing they do at the end of the August. It’s some sort of a party. They gather in the cafeteria in the gym building after their practice, most of them still soaking wet. There’s cake and laughter. Ashton makes a speech about how he wishes he could keep them all together. Apparently they are separating the team into two because most of them have schools and school teams. Luke’s glad he is not the one with the school team anymore.

Then there are sports bags thrown on their direction. Everyone gets one full of swimming gears. There are two bathing suits and a white robe with the gym’s name stamped on them. Bathing suits are ridiculous to be honest and Jessie has every right to complain about them. They are navy and the name is written with light blue fabric on the ass area which is a really _really_ bad idea. Light colors turn sheer in water and it looks like something out of soft porn. It’s not a look swim teams dig to be honest.  

The fuss ends pretty soon when Ashton says they only have to wear them in big competitions, just a basic advertisement tactic. They celebrate the new season ahead of them with fuzzy non-alcoholic drinks, it’s really lame but there are still underage kids and the gym can’t really provide them drinks.

It’s around midnight when they finally end the night and everybody starts leaving. He grabs his bag, standing up and leaving Calum and Ashton behind. He’s walking out of the cafeteria area when he hears the voice.

“Luke.” It sounds really soft coming from his right. “Would you wait a little?” It catches him by surprise because he hasn’t seen him in over a week, because he is not even supposed be near here.

“Michael, what the hell are you doing here?”

“My job,” Michael states as if it isn’t obvious enough. He is sitting on a chair next to the glass windows where parents watch their children while waiting for them. His skin glows with the fluorescent lighting from his back, like a beautiful angel.

“Yeah but-” Luke steps towards him, tucking his wet hair further in his beanie. “You aren’t-”

“I know. Can you please come and sit down?” he whispers, sounding desperate. That’s a reminder of that night, flashing back his memories and it’s something Luke doesn’t want to remember anymore. Michael’s thunderstorms are asleep and he would rather have them stay that way. So Luke sits down next to him.

Michael checks around and sighs before starts talking softly. “We kissed and they were just- I- Ugh, what I’m trying to say is; why? I’m so confused.”

Luke smiles but he feels the blush creeping on his cheeks, hopes it doesn’t look that bad from outside. “I read somewhere about human contact helping pain” He grimaces slightly when he is using that as an excuse but he can’t think of a better one. He feels stupid. No one would believe that, especially not Michael. He is far too smart for that.

“I’m pretty sure they meant hand-holding or something, not kissing,” Michael remarks and raises his eyebrow, still waiting for a better answer. Luke stays silent, stunned by the moving piercing through his eyebrows. He doesn’t have a better one anyway.

“Luke?” Michael insists. When there’s no response he continues. “You let me kiss you the other night, like a real kiss. It wasn’t out of pity or anything this time. You kissed me back and it doesn’t make sense.”

“It doesn’t make sense in my mind too but I would kiss you again.” Luke announces quickly. Their gazes meet and Michael smiles at him.

“Would you?”

“Yeah, you bet I would.” They break into giggles for a while, laughing until their stomachs hurt. And Luke comes to a conclusion that he loves Michael flushed red, how pretty he gets when his happiness reach his eyes.  They fall silent after a couple of minutes, not daring to look away from other’s eyes.

“Me too,” Michael breaks the silence. Luke just grabs his hand and locks their fingers together. Maybe it will make sense after all.


	4. Chapter 4

Spending time with Michael is fun. Luke really enjoys being around him. He sometimes goes to Ashton’s house before the night trainings and they spend time together like any other teenage boys would do, playing video games, watching movies and eating excessive amount of food. Sometimes Michael gets insecure about eating as much as Luke does but Luke snuggles against him and tells him how he should get over it because he can be better than before once he is healthy. Calum and Ashton go out more once there’s someone else with Michael taking care of the kids when Anne is working. Harry and Lauren seem to like him because he lets them do whatever they want to. Apparently Michael likes to blast music when the said so ‘adults’ are not home and Luke enjoys singing along with him, throwing air-guitar solos in the middle. Luke kinda’ likes to interrupt him in the middle and plant a kiss on his lips.

They enjoy the time together when Luke’s not training. Sometimes Michael makes him watch races and talks about the techniques. It’s something Luke never had before and he enjoys the opportunity, taking every word in. He asks bunch of questions when the talk stirs out of his basic knowledge and get into the deep terminology.

Sometimes he feels like blending in with Michael better than he ever did with his own family. They share some moments Luke doesn’t think he could ever forget. Like the day Lauren came home early and sit down in front of them, looking all serious even making Michael pause the game he’s been playing and asking how they figured they liked boys. Luke was taken aback, staying silent for a moment. But when Michael smiled and informed her a little bit about feelings, that she shouldn’t worry about them and it doesn’t matter if someone else doesn’t understand them because they belong to her.  She hesitated for a second, probably not processing the words so Luke took her hand and looked at her right in the eye, saying she’ll understand it all when she’s ready to live those feelings. She nodded slowly and walked to her room carrying her heavy school bag. He remembers how Michael looked at him softly and thanked him.

He gets used to spending his time surrounded by people again rather than lying in front of TV in his brothers flat. Jack quickly realizes the change of routine and even tries to be the responsible adult asking Luke about where he is leaving a couple of times. But he leaves it when he doesn’t get anything but simple excuses.

Then it becomes a habit for them. Luke just rings or texts Michael and shows up in five minutes in front Irwin’s’ door. So one day their morning texting stays in air because both of them are acting lazy and Luke decides to go see him instead so they can keep a conversation going.

He just texts Michael before leaving his house, not bothering with calling because it’s around noon in a week day meaning no one’s home except Michael.  He pushes the door once he has arrived knowing it’ not locked but one thing he doesn’t know is what he would come across. At first he doesn’t see Michael but just after he walked in the middle of living room, he hears a moan from inside. It’s all breathy and broken. Luke’s heart stops for a second and he drops his gym bag to the ground.

He steps forward until he finds the source of the voice. It’s just the thing his teenage brain concludes, maybe a tiny bit better. He inhales sharply, biting down on his lips. It’s so beautiful; he is so beautiful, looking all needy and sweaty with hand around his cock, stroking painfully slow. His hair looks damp, sticking to his pale skin.

Luke feels like a creep watching him without his constant but he is already half hard so he just coughs awkwardly. Michael’s eyes flutter open and once he recognizes Luke, a blush raises on his skin, turning it a deeper pink than before.

“Shit, Luke, Wh-what are you doing here?” He stutters, grabbing the duvet to pull over himself.

“I kinda’ thought-uhh, we could hang out since we haven’t talked much last couple of days?” He mumbles but they both are too embarrassed to make this conversation. Michael nods and reaches for his clothes like he doesn’t support a painful boner. Luke feels like he has to stop him because he does have one. “I-I can help you with it if you wouldn’t mind me joining?” He asks, looking at Michael’s pretty face. He hopes he hasn’t fucked up what has been going on between them. Michael looks surprised for a second, short of breath but he eventually breaths a broken:

“Yeah, fuck yeah.”

Luke literally throws himself at Michael, both of them reaching at each other. Their kiss is heated, full of desire and Luke wants it to last forever but their bodies don’t have the patience. So he breaks it, pulling his shirt of, wanting to feel Michael’s soft skin against his so badly. He catches Michael reaching for his cock, staring at Luke. It makes him relieved, seeing the craving is mutual after all the time he had jerked off imagining how Michael would sound, look, feel…

He reaches for the duvet so he can watch Michael’s hard cock slipping in his palm, looking red and angry but he gets slapped on the hand for doing so. “No,” Michael says and there’s a slick sound after it making Luke groan. Michael smirks at him, pulling the duvet off until just the tip of his cock is in view. It’s like a little strip tease and Luke enjoys it very much.

Then it hits Luke why Michael is doing this. He is hiding his scars behind the piece of fabric, like they are something to be embarrassed about. Like they are not the proof of how brave he is.

So he stops staring and leans forward to pepper kisses along Michael’s stunning body. He bites down between his shoulder and neck, trailing his kisses up Michael’s neck, tracing up the veins with his lips. Once he finds a spot he likes and sucks on it softly. Michael gulps, not audibly but Luke can already feel it against his lips when his Adam’s apple moves. He loves it when Michael’s breathing becomes unsteady and his arm moves too fast like he needs to reach his climax right now. Luke needs this to last longer than this.

He reaches between them, grabbing Michael’s cock over his hand guiding him to slow down. “Go like this, babe. Just like this.” He is not sure where the pet name comes from but Michael whimpers next to his ear and Luke is pretty sure he is already leaking in his boxers.

He continues leaving kisses towards south, sucking some hickeys across the pale torso and soft tummy. He has to stop sometimes to ask Michael to go slower. Once reaches down enough, he wraps his hand around Michael’s once again, leaving a kiss at the tip of his cock before he pulls the duvet off Michael’s right thigh. He presses his lips inside of his thigh sucking another hickey on his skin while jerking Michael slowly.

He would prefer doing it on the left one where his scars are but he knows Michael’s not ready for it so he just leaves marks on his other leg to equalize them. Michael lifts his hips, fucking into his palm. He clearly doesn’t have the patience to hold back anymore so Luke presses a hand on his belly to continue what he was doing. He moves on to another spot, twisting his wrist around Michael’s cock, pressing his thumb across the vein underside of it. It’s all too easy when Michael’s leaking too much, making it slippery. Luke whispers how beautiful he is, how strong his body is. He comes on his stomach not long after, Luke thinks it’s because of the pressed finger on his slit, his orgasm hitting him hard. He moans Luke’s name with a bunch of “oh oh oh”s. A stripe of cum lands on the side of Luke’s face making both of them chuckle.

Michael pulls him up, swiping cum off with his thumb and presses a kiss to Luke’s lips.

“This was,” He barely breaths, a dumb smile spread on his face. “You are- Where were you before?”

Luke rolls over, chuckling softly. “I was avoiding the trainer who fucked up my muscles.” He is still painfully hard but he can’t think of doing anything else then wrapping his arms around Michael. “C’mere.” He pulls him to his chest, leaving a kiss on top of his head.

“Was I that bad to you?” Michael whispers, looking behind his long lashes. Luke doesn’t know how to answer because it felt _that_ bad. He’s not sure how he has seen deep down in Michael soul or how he ended up here with fondness in his heart. He doesn’t know a way to tell without breaking Michael even further. But Michael is too smart for his bullshit because he realizes what the long silence means before a word slips from Luke’s lips. “Oh.” His voice is steady but Luke already knows the stone walls Michael built. “Well, that explains your outbursts.”

Luke inhales softly, playing with a few strands of Michael’s hair. “It’s not that you are bad. I’ve seen you swim Michael, you are-” His words make Michael cringe visibly and Luke stop. He feels shitty about the conversation. He really doesn’t want to have it now. And they both don’t want to remember that night. So he looks right into Michael’s piercing green eyes and tries to explain himself. “Constantly hearing insults kinda’ drains your energy. Like you thought pretty cool stuff and perfected a lot of errors but- y’know it hurts to hear that you are failure every five minutes.”

They stay like that for minutes, holding onto each other until Michael sighs. “Are you going to the training after here?” He clearly wants Luke to stay, and Luke does too. He leaves a tender kiss to his temple.

“Ashton put me up in a race on weekend.” He mumbles unhappily. He really, _really_ wants to stay here and get each other off a couple times.

“For what?” Michael asks, dragging his lips on Luke’s neck, making him shiver.

“Three butterflies and a freestyle,” And Luke can’t finish it properly because Michael is sucking a mark under his chin, leaving him breathless. “Micha-Oh” Michael stops for a moment, removing his lips from Luke’s skin and there’s a smug smile on his lips. Cold air hitting the wet stop on his neck makes his blood rush towards his neglected cock again and makes Luke moan.

“I think I should be returning the favor…” Michael leans again and continues from where he left. Luke knows he is avoiding talking and it’s probably a crappy thing to do, brushing it off but his lips feels _so good_ against his skin and all he can think is how they would feel against his dick.

+++

Michael asks Ashton if he can come watching team’s first race since he hasn’t been training them. Of course Ashton lets him; they drive together to the pool where it takes place.  It’s an indoor short course pool filled with families and various school and gym teams. Ashton stops their team way before than he does because his eyes are searching for Luke but he can’t see a 6’2 feet blond with a lean body.

Their team looks ridiculous with their matching swimwear but they also look stoked. Calum is literally jumping in his place since he can’t reach Ashton for a calming kiss. The way he acts like a eight year-old makes Michael laugh and he’s glad there are at least a couple of people that likes him around.

Calum runs towards them to help Michael so Ashton can go and talk with the team. Michael hates being a burden to them, needing someone beside him all the time. He hates the fact that he can’t even walk after two years. Yes, he became aware of he lost his career long time ago but not being sure whether he will walk properly ever again is still heavy on his chest. It does make him feel better when Calum doesn’t let go of him after they sit down, his arm stay wrapped around Michael’s shoulder. He closes his eyes, waiting for the first whistle.

“Ash wants to group me, Jessie and Luke into a relay medley but he is not sure about putting Matt in.” Calum tries to seek his attention. He succeeds, when he says Luke’s name because that blond boy is the only thing making him laugh recently.

High windows brighten the pool with the noon sunlight and people are getting ready for the first race, in the distance Ashton is pushing his contestants forward and making sure everything is smooth. “Umm, who is in which position?” He mumbles, not paying much attention.

“I think I’d get backstroke and Jessie wants freestyle but if we get Matt-” He listens to him, kind of. He quickly tunes out. If he did, he probably could help them figure it out but all he can focus is the lanky blond boy running towards the pool in his swimwear. When he trembles a little on the slippery ground, Michael holds his breath until he reaches the mats. He looks beautiful with his untucked hair under swimming cap. He climbs the first step of the starting board.

“-and Luke will get breaststroke. He is really good with it. He beat my medley record. I’m kinda embaras-” Calum continues talking until he figures Michael’s on a different universe. He pats Michael’s shoulder sympathetically when he sees what he is looking at. _Actually who_

They watch Luke make a great start in silence and Michael doesn’t take his eyes of the boy for one second during the race. He watches every god damn move Luke makes, measuring them like a good trainer would. Then he looks at his frowned eyebrows over the black googles he has. He admires how determined Luke is once he enters the water.

He doesn’t even realize when the race ends, when Luke touches the wall right after the boy on his left. He knows he is already too gone for his so called friend.

+++

Luke was about thirteen years old when he made his mind around that swimming is his only option of job. High school was just out of the corner, starting next week and here he was sitting in the living room, all alone in the house. His parents were away to drive Ben to his college and Jack was out of the house the second their parents disappeared into the horizon. No one asked him if he had things to do. Of course they wouldn’t, most of the freshmen would slack off in their last free week before high school but Luke had to work and without someone to drive him he couldn’t.

He was supposed to be in the public pool in fifteen minutes but he was here sitting in his gear in the middle of his house mopping. He wasn’t like Ben, smartest of the three with stable grades, a stable relationship for two years, stable everything. He wasn’t like Jack either. Luke never been that social or popular in his life, he was the chubby kid with blond fringe whose brother is the coolest junior.

He is just Luke and he has one joy out of his freaking life and it’s swimming. It’s the thing he shared with his grandpa, and mocked his big brothers in the same beach he learnt how to float in the sea. It is the one thing made him keep going in middle school, knowing he could reach so much further with a high school team.

He has to be at the training at the time. The trainer, a middle-aged man, gets so angry with his team whenever they came late. Luke really wasn’t a part of the team but he went to every practice they made in the public pool and swam the laps a couple of lanes down to them.

He grabs his bag and runs to the garage to get Jack’s old bike. He knows it is most likely to crumble into the pieces on his way but he has to go. His family doesn’t really understand it, they don’t consider it as something to make a career out of. They all watch those summer Olympics or the famous races yet they don’t see what Luke wants out of life, they don’t want to.

His mother agreed to send him to a swimming course once he started primary school, thinking he should learn swimming properly not just scrambling in the water. It lasted just over a year, until the teacher called his parents and told them Luke should join to the junior team and his parents decided that he’d learned enough swimming.

Then he tried swimming in school teams yet school budgets or the older B team members came across him. So he found a way to do it himself. He found a public pool with high school team training in it. The trainer of course noticed him but he didn’t really try to pursue his parents into joining a team. He knew they wouldn’t care. So he stayed a couple of lanes behind and watched all the older kids joining high school B teams and the newbies come and struggle after junior teams during his middle school years.

This was supposed to be his last training before going to high school and swim in try-outs for a team, to be good enough to make a career out of this and he was all alone in this.

He was surprised when he made it with that shit bike. He ran towards the locker rooms, dumping his stuff to locker and pushing the doors while running and tucking his hair in his cap. Of course the training already has begun once he stepped in the pool area. He quickly came near the pool, sticking his feet into water, totally skipping the warmings.

What stopped him from hopping in is the trainer, coming close to him, letting his team take the long lap. He looks angry just like he does to any of his team members, then his face softens and he hugs Luke quickly. He must have remembered Luke’s searches for teams.

“Take a two hundred of freestyle before joining the training yeah? We don’t want to injure your muscles before the big day.”

Luke nods before stepping back and watching him go back to his team. He feels so bad about leaving. Luke doesn’t think anyone supported him as much as this low paid P.E teacher, his behind the curtains trainer.

+++

Luke does make it; he takes three medals home from the race, one being gold for the two hundred meters of butterfly. He made it into an A team like he always dreamt about it and this time Jack is there to cheer for him from the side and he has a beautiful boy, watching him and smiling.

He squeezes into his hoodie, his wet skin sticking to the fabric and runs towards Michael, where he is still sitting down next to his team cheering and hugging. He walks through the pile of wet human bodies, getting accessional pats on the back and a ruffling of his hair from Calum. Michael tries to stand up when he sees him but Luke takes big steps and sinks down on his knees.

“You were great out there, babe.” Michael reaches for his hands. Luke loves the new pet names from Michael’s lips, as supposed to noodle or hangnail.

“Thank you.” He breathes out. It’s been more than five minutes when he took his last medal and more than fifteen since he got out of the water but he feels out of breath, like his lungs are failing him when he is looking at Michael’s fond eyes.

He wants to kiss him, properly, right here in front of everyone. He doesn’t but Michael understands him holding his hand tighter. He understands the stereotype over athletes but he softly whispers anyway. Words just Luke’s to hear.

“Be my boyfriend?” Luke bites his lower lip, smiling even broader.

Then there’s a hand on his shoulder before he can answer. “I’m so proud of you kiddo!” Jack shouts behind him. Luke keeps their gaze locked for couple of seconds. He attempts to get up, nodding and whispering. “Yeah,” He lets go of Michael’s hand. “Yes.”

He turns around to hug his brother but he knows Michael’s heard him. He can hear the stupid laugh of his behind his back. He laughs like he can’t believe what just happened. Luke tries to keep the conversation with his brother, seeking peeks over his shoulder. He can’t believe what just happened either.

Then he decides to change how he lives life, how he gets overlooked of his achievements. He grabs Jack from his shoulders, stopping him from pulling Luke away from his bench.

“Jack, I want you to meet someone, actually I want everyone to meet him.” Jack turns around to look at him with curious eyes. Luke brings him back tin front of where Michael’s sitting with the biggest smile on his lips.

“Michael, this is Jack. Jack, this is Michael. He is the reason I made it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I should have finished this much earlier, but what can I say life hit me hard. So here is the final chapter of a really short fic (it was going to be short anyway) I hope you all enjoyed it. I'm glad you took this ride with me. So so much to my dear Maxine for being there for me. I would like to read any comments about this
> 
> Also you can find me at blackwaterlilies on tumblr.


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